Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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