This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
