HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ketchup is God's man juice
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
