I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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