The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
