I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
