How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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