She announced her abortion via fbk
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize