I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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