Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
