I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
pray to the hookup gods
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
