i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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