she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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