so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
