yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
