I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
