I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
These tits shall not be calmed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize