mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
