she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
