You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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