I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
