Having a random hookup so left but love u
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
