Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.