Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
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Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.