Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.