2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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