On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
