also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
