How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
