just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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