I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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