I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
