I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
