If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
