ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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