That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
