Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize