ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
