I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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