WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
