I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
