just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
