Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
