He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
