I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
