Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
