It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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