I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
