ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He keeps bees of course he's weird
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
FUCK WHALES
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
