your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
