If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize