i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
