I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
