I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I want to be your penis for a week.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
