It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did I show you my penis last night?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
