I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
